NURSERY CRIMES

Nursery Crimes

© David W. Oliver

About crimes against the nursery and perhaps rhymes that are crimes against poetry

Twinkle Twinkle

   (Beautiful Planet)

“Twinkle twinkle little star

How do we look from afar?”

            “Beautiful: blue, white, and green

              Fairest planet ever seen

Please stay pretty as you are,”

Said the little twinkle star.

Baa Baa Black Sheep

(Security Immaturity)

Baa Baa black sheep

Have you any oil?

“Yes sir, yes sir

To ease your work and toil.

Borrow from the Chinese

Pay it all to me

So that I can threaten    your security!

And drive you into   bankruptcy!”

  Old King Coal

  ( Insidious Subsidies)

Old king Coal

Was a very rich soul

Contributed his money free.

            He gave to his lobby

            His congressional hobby

And collected subsidies with glee!

Little Miss Muffet

(Selling Your Tuffet)

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet

Debating her vote all day.

            Came a moneyed provider

            Sat down beside her

And she sold her true vote away

       Jack Sprat

(Why Not Chicken?)

Jack Sprat was mad for beef

His wife likewise insane.

            So cows did belch

            And pass their gas

And fill our air with methane

 Humpty Dumpty

(Eternal Hot Summer)

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Waiting for spring, winter and fall

            All of the scientists

            All of the smart men

Couldn’t bring them back again.

Jack and Jill

(Pump Those Aquifers)

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

All wells pumped dry;

Their parched throats cry,

No water ever after!

London Bridge

(Oceans Rise)

London Bridge is going under

Going under, going under

London Bridge will survive

As all our oceans rise?     

Pop goes the weasel

        (POP the Price)

All around the city streets

The guzzler chased the diesel

The guzzler thought the chase was nice

Till POP went the gasoline price.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

(Shout Again Some Day)

We Itsy Bitsy Spiders stood up and gave a shout

“Time for a policy to get th’ CO-2 out”

Down came the lobbyists and washed us all away

But the Itsy Bitsy Spiders will shout again some day!

Jack Be Nimble

  (Fossil Fools)

Jack be nimble

Jack be cool!

Jack stop burning

Fossil fuel!

© David W. Oliver 6/30/09