Leaping
The big kids let me play.
Always picked last, have to follow every rule
that the biggest kids change every day.
I could run and jump and swim,
as good as the smallest older one.
So they would let me play with them
till they went to the high diving board.
“This board’s too high for a little kid.”
“Go play in the baby pool.”
“A shrimp like you will just get hurt.”
Hurt inside by the big kid’s rules.
I knew that I could jump from that high,
Knew I could swim to the ladder.
But the height of the board – was terrified!
what I know just doesn’t matter.
So when I climbed the water slick rungs
and walked to the end of the board,
it was jump down from that terrible height,
or down the steps with their laughter reward.
“Look at him; he’s terrified.”
“Let the baby walk down the ladder.”
“A shrimp like him would just get hurt.”
Walked down with my soul in tatters.
It’s the truth of their jibes that hurt so much
and I wanted them to ask me to stay.
But also I wanted to leap through the air,
hit the water and make a huge spray.
It was then that I had to handle my stuff
Their laughing at me and my frightened feelings
against having them like me and making the leap.
Knowing I could do it and knowing it could sting.
Sleepless and drowning in their jibes and my fear;
dreams of falling when at last I fell to sleep.
What would I do at the swimming pool next day
when confronted with the terrible leap?
Next day all alone at the grown-ups pool
jumped and jumped from the side that’s very low.
When the jumps felt so good that my fears began to fade;
jumped high and twirled around in quite a show.
I ran up to the low board; my fears fading fast,
with confidence and real excitement growing.
Jumped and leaped and twirled around flying through the air,
With delight and confidence from the doing and the knowing.
Then I walked right up to that very highest board,
The usual jibes and laughter heard once more.
And when I looked down from that very highest place
The water was much closer than before.
I leaped and soared; and then plunged deep into the water!
from deep down there, above me I could see
silver bubbles streaming up and up as I rose.
Inside that leap had made a very different me.
I could not count the leaps that day
just a swimming and leaping blur.
I heard a big kid say: “The little kid leaped.”
Words I thought would never occur.
Winter the outdoor pool is closed
other games and stuff to do.
But I thought about that high dive board
and being part of the big kid crew.
Mom got me into the downtown Y
with an indoor pool, a low board.
So I got to swim couple times a week
with an idea I could work toward.
There’s this guy, Greg Louganis,
who reinvented how to dive.
Our library had CD’s of him
I could watch on my CD drive.
Practiced two steps, sweep the right knee high,
whip arms up, hurdle high as I can,
toes impact board, arms drop to drive it down,
then push off, stretch up to the ceiling.
There were lots of splats and lots of stings,
but slowly the dive grew lofty.
Learned to jackknife at the highest point
open and knife the water vertically.
Then one lofty dive – disaster
would hit on my back and really sting.
Tucked into a ball as hands touched water;
my spinning butt did a wondrous thing.
No sting at all, smacked the water with a: “Whump”,
the splash hit the tile on the ceiling.
Lifeguard yelled ; “Hey, how’d you do that?.”
Knew I’d found just what I’d been needing.
Practiced that splash dive for highest splash height.
Named it the Watermelon.
Because that is what the butt-tuck looks like
when my butt sends the splash up to heaven.
When summer came went back to the pool,
still the littlest kid at the boards.
Watched the big kids jump their cannonballs
then took the last turn, just ignored.
Took the two slow steps, then hurdled high,
jackknifed at the lofty height.
Rocketed down to the water
to watermelon a sky high splash sight.
Jack, the big guy of the big kids,
Ran over as I pushed up from the pool.
“Hey kid would you show me how to do that?
You’re a high diving splashing fool.”
© David W. Oliver 8/7/2010
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